An English doctor was being shown around a Scottish hospital. Near
the end of his visit, he saw a ward of patients with no obvious injuries.
He started to examine the first patient, but the man proclaimed:
"Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face / Great chieftain o' the puddin'
The doctor, taken aback, moved on to the next patient, who immediately
"Some hae meat and canna eat / And some wad eat that want it."
The next patient cried out,
"Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie / O what a panic's in thy
"Well," the English doctor muttered to his Scottish colleague,
"I see you saved the psychiatric ward for last."
"Oh, no," said the Scottish doctor. "This is our serious
— contributed by Bob Turner