Guitar Player in Hell
A guitar player dies and goes to Hell, as musicians often do. At the gates, one of the damned beasts of Hell hands him a nice, vintage guitar case in perfect condition. He opens the case, and finds a beautiful golden-era D-45, the finest guitar he's ever seen. He gives the guitar a strum, and the sound is unbelievably warm yet punchy—the kind of guitar every player dreams of.
"It's yours," says the beast. "Your jam session is over there in the next hall."
"Hell seems to be a lot nicer than I imagined," the dearly departed muses, as he makes his way to a jam circle playing the finest music he has ever heard. He joins in, and quickly finds that he can play more cleanly and creatively than he ever did on Earth. His new acquaintances, too, are monster musician, playing perfectly tasteful backup while trading blazing solos.
Having spent a lifetime of abject sin, our late guitar player can't believe his good fortune winding up in this spot. After about three hours of incredible picking he says, "Hey, guys. this has been so amazing. What do you say we take a break and then pick some more later on?"
"Oh, didn't they tell you?" came the response. "We never take a break."
— from "The Twos and Fours" by Tom Smart, Intermountain Acoustic Musician, April 2006TOP